Ontario Government Running Low On New Ideas To Screw Over Taxpayers

It’s Energy Stupid

Excerpt:   The Ontario government recently admitted that they are running low on new ideas for how to screw taxpayers out of their money, while still making them feel good about getting screwed. A representative for the government told us, “we’re at the bottom of the barrel right now, 4th and long, penalty shot in overtime. We need something big, and soon. We’re looking for the Gordon Bombay triple-deke of screw overs.” The government rep then went on to explain that despite their current snag, the Ontario government had nothing but praise for Global Warming and the Green movement saying:

Yeah, thank God for the whole climate change thingy. That was a big cash cow for us and couldn’t have come at a better time. I mean, remember that eHealth debacle? Yeeesh. With climate change we were able to redeem ourselves and siphon gratuitous amounts of taxpayer money, and in the end, the people of Ontario felt pretty darn good about it. Any government can screw over people, but making them feel good about it and have them continually vote for you at the polls, that’s an art. People felt so guilty about supposedly ruining the planet, emissions, and carbon footprints, that we were able to pile on subsidy after subsidy for new green energy and blame the whole thing on coal. I can vividly recall the night George and Dalton were at Jack Astors — it’s Dalton’s favorite place, the guy goes mental over being able to draw on the tables — and over a plate of Ultimate Nachos, they came up with the Green Energy Act and the whole Feed-in Tariff program. It was the perfect combination of Molson Export, mozzarella and sticky fingers that created the ideal atmosphere for a brainstorming session. When they explained it to me, all I could think was, ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching.

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8 thoughts on “Ontario Government Running Low On New Ideas To Screw Over Taxpayers

  1. Premier McGuinty said we can prosper without coal back in 2003. How well is that plan going? We now have higher unemployment than in Quebec, and our power cost almost double what it is there. Coal is what is keeping our power costs from going totally ballistic.

  2. I had to think about it. This was humour piece! Right? It’s not the real plan is it?

    I mean really….

  3. I wouldn’t be surprised if MCgoony will start placing a pooper scooper fee on dog owners who have to pick up after their Doggies and also force them to use paper bags instead of plastic!………….now wouldn’t that be nice treat to take back to the condo with you?………….

    While he’s at it maybe charge people who go jogging with too much carbon production while running!………..he could sell Carbon licenses to all the Mountain Co-op folks who breath too heavy while doing their workouts! And I’m sure these people would love to pay for making the planet a cleaner carbon free universe!

    Let’s get really crazy here and have everyone stop breathing for 10 minutes every morning at 8 A.M specially the politicians as we all know how carbon dioxide is “Poisonous”…..except for trees but hey, they just get in the way of drunk drivers!

  4. Here is the original book introduction translated from Mandarin Chinese. This alternative energy thing, the “low Carbon Lifestyle”? It’s all a Western Plot!

    http://libertygibbert.wordpress.com/rare-scribbling/locusts/low-carbon-plot/

    “2. 1 Solar Power makes electricity, the poor people’s unattainable product

    What can Solar power do, what can wind power do?

    On hearing this question, everybody will probably think, what a strange question to ask. Owing to a iron consensus of opinion brought about by a long period of propaganda, people’s thoughts will immediately change direction, and not pay any attention to the nature of the original question, and will remember that solar energy is the cleanest form of energy, is renewable, not like coal when you’ve dug it all up it’s all gone, it represents the direction of the energy resources revolution. Solar power is seen as the industry of the rising sun of the future. Who knows, maybe one day inthe future, it’ll replace all conventional forms of electricity generation.

    Isn’t this the most beautiful thought possible, no pollution, everywhere is just greenery mountains and rivers, people won’t need to worry about coal mines collapsing, no need to worry about forests being chopped down, no need to worry about rising sea levels submerging island nations. It is as if, if only humanity could adopt clean energy, then all of our problems would be resolved with one sweep of the knife. But is the result really thus?

    There is a very real problem staring everybody in the face. Solar power, wind power, can they be implemented on a large scale? Can they provide large scale industries with enough electricity? Can they supply trains with the power to fly along the tracks?

    It is obvious, that the answer is in the negative.”

    The plot thickens….

    Almost as fast as the mental fog which envelopes our politicians…

    Read it and weep!

  5. But why stop there? Reaffirm your ideas with support from the Ottawa Citizen and the most sage of political advisers…

    http://www.ottawacitizen.com/technology/Weighing+evidence/3080882/story.html

    Dan Gardner

    Of course Danny Boy has never checked in to see what Steve McIntyre of Climate Audit has to say about those “investigations”.

    Read more: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/technology/Weighing+evidence/3080882/story.html#ixzz0wPFKYiYJ

    And of course…
    “All this noise and misinformation is beginning to show the intended results. A February survey by the BBC found that the number of Britons who agreed that “climate change is happening and is now established as largely man-made” fell from 41 per cent in 2009 to 26 per cent. Polls show similar shifts in Germany. The critics are delighted.”

    All more reason to lard-up with Solar and Wind Turbines and other crackpot schemes.

    Getcher science from a journalist — din’tcha know?

    He is a climate science expert and knows truth when he hears it…

    http://www.dangardner.ca/BIO.html

  6. You know……….anyone like Dan Gardner who thinks that “man is causing global warming” to me has a pretty grand opinion of himself and specially the ones like Suzuki and Gore and all the others who “think” they have the “power” to influence nature are the biggest Narcissists in the World!……………..I say to Global warmists: “get over yourself, your nothing more than a tiny speck of skin on a very large beach that really isn’t here that long and then your gone!

    So while your here, shut your pie hole, leave all the honest and peaceful souls alone and IF you want to rant about how Global Warming is the end of the world……go live in the Arctic ………….your nauseating and the real “virus” that is living amongst US!

  7. Here is a thought…

    An article on WUWT gave me a thought. It points out the most useful things to do to save energy, however, if the GEA is to continue to be enacted in a consistent manner, then the most useless items off this list should be enshrined in law…

    http://wattsupwiththat.com/2010/08/17/survey-says-many-are-still-clueless-on-how-to-save-energy/#more-23572

    So, for example, let’s enact laws that will require light-turner-offers — so we can “Save the Windmills”. In this manner people can be required to invest a lot of money, the investment will have virtually zero return, and, in fact, may have a net negative return on investment (ROI) — just like IWT’s.

    There are clearly a lot of useless and expensive things that can be done, but I think that the above is a winner — fits right in with the CFL scam!

    You can nominate your own favorite useless idea form the list/survey based on your pet peeves.

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