The dinner to top all fundraising dinners: Dear Ms. Wynne…

mealDear Premier Wynne;

On Fri evening, March 15 ,2013, We cordially invite you to a dinner where you get to mingle with 22 of the most influential members of rural Ontario. At $ 5.00 a plate, we consider ourselves lucky to scare up 22 who could afford the price, even with the incentive of a tax receipt. We feel honoured that we will be able to offer a wide variety of  meal choices, much more than the Rosewater.

Timing of this gourmet extravagance may prove difficult as we’re relying on wind power and service could commence at 3 am. Our offerings however will not include heifers but will include a breast of “spent chicken” in a cream sauce. Appetizers include Blandings turtle soup and plenty of Bald eagle wings with hot sauce and Bobolink liver pate’ .

Wayne has also assured me that he’ll have plenty of time to prepare whatever road kill comes his way in a very tasteful manner. Dessert will be homemade pie, made with a rare variety of cherries, salvaged just prior to the trees being bulldozed to make way for turbine access roads.

Wine served will be a special vintage of dandelion wine, harvested from my lawn in 2008. A very good year. Service will be performed by 3 and 4 year-olds since they need to learn at a young age to serve their political masters. It may prove difficult however to find a table to hold 22 so we may have to use those big wooden wire spools left over from transmission line installations strewn throughout the area. Bring your own tablecloths since they’re optional.

We trust the money raised will be put to good use. We will look forward to the announcement that the Ottawa Water Snake ( Daltonus McGuintyius) will no longer be threatened and only classified as a species at risk.

Just come as you are and come hungry. Oh and we suggest you bring your food taster.

Paul Kuster<

RSVP by March 11/13

Beware the ides of March……..

9 thoughts on “The dinner to top all fundraising dinners: Dear Ms. Wynne…

  1. What a great idea!!! I would love to buy a ticket for this amazing banquet!!! But only if I can sit next to our illustrious Premier….please,please,please!!!! We can also discuss the corruption and 200+ turbines coming into Haldimand County!!! I have some other great ideas for conversation!!!

  2. Would that be a cost of $5.00 a plate to attend or will you be giving $5.00 to each person to attend?

    Could you add Smashed Bat Soup as another one of the appetizers?

    Will the wings be barbecued using materials from a displaced eagles nest?

    How about a doing a contest for some tickets? First prize is one ticket and second prize is 2 tickets

    Keep your stick on your sign

  3. If seating 22 guests poses a problem you may
    consider changing venues. Make the banquet
    a self-serve picnic at one of McGuinty’s wind
    parks.

  4. I hope that you have actually sent that to her. In fact, I think I will write one of my own and send it along.

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