TORONTO – Better get this column written before the power goes out and we retreat to our caves and candles. That’s where we’re headed, if the dimbulbs running Ontario’s electrical grid aren’t unplugged. Now, I think they’re even laughing at us.
When I watched Toronto Hydro’s new 12 Days of Christmas video on YouTube I assumed it was a Yuletide jest. It tells us to save energy by making ornaments from old incandescent bulbs and pine cones. It suggests we dine on such fare as “no bake” energy bars, “no cook” cheeseballs or chocolate coconut balls, “low cook” cheese dip and “no cook, low cook” fudge.” Excellent plan. We’ll keep our electrical bill down by eating nothing but raw food. I look forward to the “no cook” chicken. Perhaps it will be easier to digest in the dark.
Here’s my version of 12 Days, which was composed — by torchlight, presumably — some 300 years ago in deepest, darkest England. Altogether, now, folks, sing along…
On the 12th day of Christmas, the dimbulbs gave to us…
12 idled windmills,
11 workers snoozing
10 summer brownouts